A Christian View of Relationships and Sex Education

Bishop Michael Nazir-Ali sets out what is happening in the Department of Education’s plans for Relationships and Sex Education – and what parents and schools should do.

The  United  Kingdom’s  Education  Act of 1996, the European Convention on Human Rights and the United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child all recognise that parents have the primary responsibility for the education of their children. This is also the teaching of the Bible and, therefore, of the Church.

The Churches were the first providers of universal education and continue to be major players in this area. The state is a relative, but welcome, newcomer to this task. Its role, however, is strictly ancillary to that of the parents and, especially, in the areas of personal and social development of children, it should not arrogate to itself the fundamental responsibility of the parents and the family generally.

“Marriage is a particular and intimate kind of relationship which is ordered to certain ends.”

The Human Rights Act of 1998 requires schools to respect the  rights  of  parents to ensure that their  children  are  taught in conformity with the religious and philosophical  convictions  of   the   parents.   In addition, schools  must  take  account  of the particular religious background of the pupils.

This does not mean some generic understanding of a religion but specifically what the parents and the child believe. Where schools have a faith foundation, education must be provided in accordance with the teachings of the faith concerned

New Relationships and Sex Education Requirements

All of this is relevant to the advent of new requirements on the teaching of Relationships and Sex Education in schools, mandatory from the autumn of this year. Because of restrictions brought about by the Covid- 19 emergency, however, if schools are not ready for full implementation, they may now postpone the teaching of Relationships Education and Relationships and Sex Education to the summer term of 2021, at the latest. Any further postponement would require parliamentary approval. Schools can use this time to consult with parents, as they are required to do, before they write their policies for delivery. This gives parents and churches an opportunity to engage with the issues and to adopt strategies of appropriate response to the new requirements. The guidance states that a good understanding of local faith communities is important for the effective teaching of Relationships Education and Relationships and Sex Education. Clergy and other leaders in the churches thus have an opportunity to make a constructive contribution to any consultation on school policy.

What Can be Welcomed

It should be said that there are elements in the statutory guidance to welcome. The concern that children should be protected from predators on the internet and shouldbe able to distinguish the real world from the fantasy often found in social media are examples that come to mind. Where pornography is concerned, it should be made clear that the need is not only to separate fact from fantasy but that pornography exploits women  and  men  for commercial gain and that the relationships it portrays are unnatural and abusive. It is most important that pupils should see the harm that pornography causes and not be led to modelling their own behaviour on behaviour seen in pornographic material.

What the Statutory Guidance says about Relationships

Although the statutory guidance gives an important place to marriage, it places it as only one among other ‘committed, stable relationships’ and does not, of course, discuss the proper persons who can be involved in marriage. In faith-based schools this lacuna should be filled in with appropriate material and teaching. It seems reasonable, however, to agree that children should be taught what is the law of the land, for example, about marriage between persons of the same sex and the possibility of at least a legal change of gender. A number of important caveats, however, need to be entered immediately: teaching about legal and social facts must be clearly distinguished from promoting various lifestyles or behaviour. Any such teaching must be age-appropriate and take account of the child’s development. It should also be carried out in awareness of children’s religious background which emerges from the required consultation with parents. If the school has a faith foundation, the particular faith position should also be stated. Teachers can tell children about their own views, provided this is not seen as ‘promoting’ their own or any other views. All teaching must be ‘objective, critical and plural’. This last means that the Bible and the Church’s teaching, as well as Christian opinion, can be set out alongside other views not only in faith schools but, more generally, wherever it is possible to do so.

Personhood, Relationships and Marriage

Schools, and particularly faith-based schools, cannot be satisfied with just minimalist teaching about the Law and the social situation as it is. They must also go on to teach about an appropriate understanding of personhood and how this is formed through relationships with our parents and siblings, family and friends, and, very importantly, teachers and fellow pupils.

Marriage is a particular and intimate kind of relationship which is ordered to certain ends. It is founded on a consensual contract between a couple for mutual care and companionship (as the song puts it, ”will you still need me, will you still feed me when I am sixty four?”) and for the procreation and nurture of children (it is notorious how long human offspring take to grow up!). It involves a deeply personal relationship of life long commitment through thick and thin, prosperity and adversity, health and sickness. It is among the most important of human experiences of unity and intimacy. This is why, of course, the New Testament speaks of Christian marriage as a sacrament (mysterion) of the relationship between Christ, the Bridegroom and the Church, his Bride (Eph 5:32) - just as the husband and wife are one flesh (Gen 2:24, Mark 10:2-9 and  parallels) so is the Church united to Christ its  head. We cannot expect non-faith schools to teach about marriage in such a comprehensive way but they must teach about all the goods of marriage, especially as evidenced in empirical studies, for example, by the Centre for Social Justice, the Marriage Foundation and the Coalition for Marriage. Church schools, however, can be expected to teach about the full spectrum of Church teaching in this most important area of our lives.